I am choosing to do topic number three, which asks to discuss the mysterious topic of Interpersonal Attraction, and address both friendship and love. Also I will give my experiences here and what I have learned from them. Interpersonal Attraction is the degree of positive or negative feelings towards another. Attractions account for a variety of social experiences such as admiration, liking, friendship, intimacy, lust and love (chapter 10,575). My experiences that I have learned from Interpersonal Attraction are that is not always good to just fall for the good-looking person.
Sometimes that person can be bad for you on a personality level. Sure the beautiful is pleasing to the eye but if you don’t have any connection personality wise the relationship wont really go as far, as if it would if it were less beautiful girl with a better personality. Interpersonal Attraction is hard to resist, for one thing things beautiful to the eye aren’t always what they seem. I had this girlfriend one time I swear was the most beautiful girl I saw, and I swore to myself I would never let her go in anyway.Well about 5 months went past and I was making up excuses so that I didn’t have to see her, because her personality was so bad.
We couldn’t connect on a higher level other then appearance, well at least couldn’t. I ended up dumping her shortly after our five-month anniversary. One of my best girlfriends wasn’t like ugly but she was lesser quality to compare to the girls I went out in the past, but her personality was much far superior to the other girls, which why it led to my longest relationship.Another thing I can think of is with some friends I have and had. Sometimes you just want to be friends with the coolest kids and want to be cool.
That isn’t always the best thing to do. Just because they have something you don’t have or they are more popular then you, doesn’t mean you should try to be there friend. Some of my best friends I wouldn’t know if I just pasted on them simply because of what they didn’t have or there popularity. When I dig up the box that says “Enduring Love” I would find a few things inside of it.For insist Egocentrism, which is to consider another persons point of view on different subject areas in life (chapter 9, 342). Without considering anyone lese ideas or thoughts a relationship would never work, simply because you only care about yourself and that you never think your wrong. You think your always right and you tend to have a cocky attitude about yourself, which people don’t like.
Having that attitude people wouldn’t want to get to know you, and the people that do know you probably wouldn’t like you so much.So that is a key thing to have in the box, in order to have a successful relationship. Also its good to have attachment to ones you really care about (chapter 10, 335).
Without having a high level of attachment you wouldn’t not grow extremely close to anyone that you cared about. You wouldn’t put yourself out there for hurting if you didn’t have a high level of attachment. In turn high levels of attachment lead to better relationships. The person is willing to do more for other people and willing to get hurt, in return for reward like loving and care of a person.If you don’t have Love and Intimacy, you are more likely to become Isolated (chapter 11, 390). As I think about it a certain song really pops into my head when I say that. The song I think represents Love and life is, “Love Will Keep Us Alive” by the Eagles.
If you think about it, it’s true. If you have love you’re the happiest person in the world, and on the hand if you don’t have it, or cant find it your always searching and at times depressed. When you find that special someone you would like to make them happy all the time and in return they make you happy, which makes everyone happy.
The difference between Genders with love is, men get a bad rap for jut wanting to have that physical attachment to a women, instead of going for a relationship. Women on the other hand, they are said to look deeper into the emotional part of a relationship and really aren’t worried too much about the physical part until things get serious emotionally. In days society I don’t think this is true so much but non-the less that point of view is out there and is discussed in the book. I think women need much more emotional needs before committing then guys do.
Guys really aren’t focused on the emotion side of things until the relationship is long standing, which in that point of time guys do get into the swing of things and I think care a lot more about the emotional side of things. Also by getting into Interpersonal attraction, you are more likely to experience one of the following such as Depression, Hysteria, Paranoia and social introversion (chapter13, 450). All of those are obviously bad to have but I think taking a chance on love is better then not taking that change.
Love is a great thing, and once you experience you’ll be in search of it for the rest of your life.