Parody of a Murder Investigation

The clock chimed twelve in a slow, continuous rhythm. (Except for the last stroke where there was a bong to emphasize the lateness of the hour. ) The guests of Moreton Manor stood awkwardly in silence waiting for the detective to arrive. None of them felt safe, as the body of the butler was lying in the next room. Mrs. Bennett looked uneasily about the room, eyeing the people, looking from face to face. This would be terrible for her business, especially once it became public knowledge. There were nine guests in all, not including the bellboy, Harry.

All of the cooking staff had left two hours ago, and no one was allowed to leave without the Detective’s permission. At last there was a heavy knock on the door You could almost hear a sigh of relief inside the people’s minds, hoping that the detective would be able to comfort them somehow. Mrs. Bennett went to unlock the door and let the Detective in. He came alone, smoking a pipe, and wearing a long brown coat and a deerstalker. (Even though there were no deer’s in sight or had anything to do with the death) “Sorry I didn’t come quicker,” he remarked.

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I took my time seeing as he’s already dead and one quick glance tells me who the murderer is” There were some murmurs of surprise ad some gasps of shock from the guests. Mrs. Bennett looked very tense. No one had mentioned a murder, just a death. “It’s definitely the butler, it always is in these cases, now where is he? ” Mrs. Bennett stepped forward and announced: “He is in the next room, lying dead on the floor, now stop making false accusations and do your job! ” The detective quietly murmured something that no one ever heard and rushed into the drawing room.

There was the butler lying on the floor next to the fireplace, the butler had been shot once in the head and a gun was a foot or two away from him, lying on the floor. He checked the butlers pulse then got out his dusting kit and began to brush the gun for fingerprints. He made sure not to touch the gun, incase he was later framed. The Gun was cleaned of all fingerprints or anything else incriminating. The detective sighed and stood up; addressing everyone whom was cowering in the hallway. He took a deep breath and announced: I’m afraid we have a murder on our hands.

This was disguised to look like a suicide, but seeing as there were no fingerprints on the gun at all, and the butler was not wearing gloves, I can safely assume that he never fired this gun. Mrs. Bennett, am I correct in assuming that you had to unlock the door to let me in? ” There were some confused faces around the small crowd, and some murmurs of disbelief. After a while, Mrs. Bennett replied with “Yes, but what does that have to do with this murder? ” He answered with; It has a great deal to do with this murder, and as you did unlock the door to let me in, and there was no point of break in, it seems the murderer is among us, I mean you. ” Detective Homes lit his pipe and took three short, sharp, puffs.

The guests who were staying at Moreton Manor hotel where astounded. (It was a no smoking area) People looked very uneasily towards one another, and Mrs. Montague called out: “That’s preposterous, it could have been anyone, what about the cooking staff, you cannot have expected us to have committed a murder, no-one had a motive, and everyone has an alibi. “Did they? ” he answered, “I know that it must have been someone here for 3 reasons. Firstly he has been dead for about an hour, and when did the kitchen staff leave? I would guess about 10 o’clock, seeing as the dinner here is served at eight, and am I correct in thinking that you lock your doors at eleven, Mrs. Bennett? ” “Yes. ” replied Mrs. Bennett shakily. “I have done ever since my Bill died… That’s my husband bill, not the electrician. ” “I thought so. I distinctly remember from my short stays here. I don’t miss a trick.

Now, If all of you will go to your rooms and lock your doors, you will be quite safe, no one is allowed to leave this house without my permission. Mrs. Bennett, may I ask you a few questions before you go to bed? ” Mr. Willis remarked, “You cannot expect me to stay locked up in this house, I have a train to catch tomorrow morning, and I’m sure other people here have prior engagements, and incase you haven’t noticed, one of us is allegedly the murderer of the butler, I’m not staying here with a maniac! ” There were many replies of agreement, but Detective Homes hushed them.

He Proclaimed ” I can and will keep you here, and you will be perfectly safe as long as you lock your doors at night and do no walk about alone” With that, everyone realized that his speech was over, and departed to his or her rooms. Mrs. Bennett stayed behind and Inspector Homes covered the body over with a sheet and sat down with her. “Bertha, I know how hard this must be on your business, and you, but I swear to you, I will find out who the murderer is, no matter what lengths I have to go to, and I have to ask, where were you when you heard the gunshot? ” I had finished serving the guests their evening tea, and had seen the cooking staff out of the front door. Everyone was about to go up to bed when there was a gunshot heard. Miss Macready fainted, so I left the kitchen, which I was locking up for the night, and assisted her first. We didn’t think that the gunshot had come from inside the house so when Mr. Willis went into the dining room to retrieve his cigarettes, he found the body and called for assistance.

I was in the kitchen, and I didn’t see who was in the dining room, so cannot help you there, Frank. ” “Thank you Bertha, get some rest and I will be back in the morning. ” With that, Frank Homes, well-respected detective inspector swiftly stood up from his chair, and made sure that Mrs. Bennett Got to her room safely. It was going to be a long night, what with ten more people to interview about their whereabouts at the time of the death. He smiled to himself, he knew he would never be found out, what with him being the investigator…