My eyes threatened to close. In the background of Edward and my private bedroom whom I used to share with, I could hear my precious son and daughter calling for me, and I don’t want to leave them, but I just wish for everything to end. I am very sick and I know my life force will not last long. Slowly, my eyes adjusted to the blinding white light. Images floated around me.
They were, when I realised after what seemed like ages, my memories of the past. I saw a girl floating past. She was crying, sitting alone in the shadows behind dark curtains. Unconsciously, I reached out, unknowing what awaited me. The girl wasn’t tall.
Despite tears dripping down her cheeks, she wore a fierce expression. Nostalgically, she reminded me of someone familiar, but I could not get around the thought. She stared intensely down, towards her bony hands which held a brick like novel. The storm howled outside, but she was engrossed in the story. There was a sound at the door. She looked up. Her eyes, as if they could see me, stared straight ahead.
I know I should move away, but I was frozen. I now know why everything about her was familiar. She was me. Pictures and thoughts rushed through my mind like lightning. Red jumped out at me. I screamed. It was the red room. Thoughts from a ten year old me came back as if it happened yesterday.
I could still see the lone chair in the middle of the eerie room, small and unimportant, the ghostly figure of a man flirting around the room. It used to belong to Mr Reed. After he passed away in the same room, it became the punishment room. For me, I was always sent there, for reasons which did not even ring truth. After my life career as a governess and a school teacher, I came to realise how the world which people live in works.
No matter which situation, John Reed, who always bullied me, was never wrong, but rather always fell on me to take the blame. He was male, and next head of household, no one ever dared to disob…